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For contemporary women, motherhood has become as polarizing a proposition as it is a powerful calling. For some women this tension is manifest in a debate over whether or not to have children. For others it concerns whether to stay at home with their children or stay in the workforce. Still others feel abandoned altogether by the supposedly pro-family and pro-mother social justice movement that is feminism and are at a loss when it comes to reconciling their maternal instincts with their political beliefs.
With Opting In, Amy Richards addresses the anxiety over parenting that women face today in a book that mixes memoir, interviews, historical analysis, and feminist insight. In her refreshingly direct and thoughtful approach, Richards covers everything from the truth about our biological clocks and the trends toward extending fertility, to parenting with nature and nurturing in mind, to our relationship with our own mothers, to what feminism's relationship to motherhood is and always has been. Speaking from the vantage point of someone who is both a parent and one of our leading feminist activists, Richards cuts through the cacophony of voices intent on telling women the "appropriate" way to be a mother and reveals instead how to confidently forge your own path while staying true to yourself and your ideals.
- Sales Rank: #1739218 in Books
- Brand: Farrar, Straus and Giroux
- Published on: 2008-04-29
- Released on: 2008-04-29
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.50" h x .75" w x 5.50" l, .65 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 316 pages
- Great product!
From Publishers Weekly
In this spirited response to the controversial 2004 New York Times Magazine's cover story The Opt-Out Revolution claiming that America's most educated women are choosing motherhood over careers, feminist activist Richards (coauthor, Grassroots) reminds readers of the real strides the women's movement has made in allowing women to choose and juggle both. The initial uneasiness in reconciling motherhood with feminism (e.g., dependence vs. independence) has largely been eclipsed, notes Richards, despite the misleading headlines. From diaper-changing stations in both men's and women's restrooms to the Family and Medical Leave Act, flextime and on-site childcare in the workplace, feminism's investment in parenting is undeniable, she writes. Her work incorporates her own experience raising two sons with her unmarried partner while maintaining an important identity in women's causes such as cofounder of the Third Wave Foundation and Soapbox. Scrolling through solid feminist history, she cogently examines issues involving mothers such as to work or not to work; the mania over one's biological clock; nonsexist child-rearing; balancing household work; and nurturing friendships with women and one's own mother. Overall, Richards strongly urges women to educate themselves about the achievements of the first waves of feminists and to advocate actively in their community for self-worth and dignity for all. (May)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
Review
“With Opting In, Amy Richards does an impressive job of showing just how many ways there are for modern women to make motherhood work for them. Richards powerfully reminds us that although these are seemingly isolated "domestic" negotiations, women open up the work-life balance not only for other women, but for men and for generations of young people to come.” ―Veronica Chambers, author of Having It All? Black Women and Success
“Opting In is a brave, rational, thoughtful book chock full of important information and ideas that every woman--married or not, mother or not--should make it her business to know and think about.” ―Cathi Hanauer, editor of The Bitch in the House
“To a world that either obsesses over children or excludes them, Amy Richards brings the revolutionary possibilities of shared intergenerational lives--not easy, mind you, but possible. If her example and writing had been around earlier, even I might have had children.” ―Gloria Steinem
“Amy Richards is always showing a new way forward for her generation of feminists and has done so once again with Opting In--a smart, savvy exploration of real-life, real-time motherhood that is sure to resonate.” ―Naomi Wolf
“Amy Richards is one of the few women in the country who can talk about the politics of mothering in a way that doesn't make me bored or irate. Opting In is intellectually rigorous, personally authentic, insightful, and brave--and frankly, how often can you say that about books on this subject? Richards is remarkably honest and thought-provoking, and her ideas stay with you long after you've put the book down. Read Opting In and challenge yourself about what you think and the decisions you're making, then talk about it not only with other women but with the men in your life as well.” ―Rosalind Wiseman, author of Queen Bees & Wannabees
“A movingly written book, Opting in: Having a Child without Losing Yourself beautifully dissects the feminist relationship to motherhood, creating a framework for modern career women to embrace motherhood while maintaining their aspirations and ambitions.” ―Sylvia Ann Hewlett
“In Amy Richards's insightful OPTING IN, knotty twentieth-century feminist debates about family, sex, and motherhood are reexamined through sharp twenty-first century eyes. This informative book is always reasonable, readable, and refreshingly open-minded.” ―Alix Kates Shulman
“Richards ... makes a convincing case for the necessity of living our politics if we want to see change... welcome advice.” ―Rachel Fudge, Mother Jones
About the Author
Amy Richards is the co-author of Manifesta (FSG, 2000) and Grassroots (FSG, 2005) and the co-founder of the feminist speaker's bureau, Soapbox.
Most helpful customer reviews
15 of 16 people found the following review helpful.
Compendium Read
By J. Aragon
The perfect reader or audience for this book is going to be a new mother in her 20s or 30s and preferably someone who hasn't heard of the Association for Research on Mothering, Adrienne Rich or the plethora of published lay and academic books on mothering and parenting. This is a great book and the new reader to said topics will enjoy the breadth of what it covers and the style. Richards (and her co-author of two other books Manifest and Grassroots) both write in an easy to read style.
This book pretty much rehashes countles other books and studies and includes personal points and nonscientific examples (her friends/colleagues, and strangers). It was a really easy read, but at times, I was again rolling my eyes at the self-congatulatory statements that she made. I don't have my copy here at work, but for instance making the comparison that kids from a single parent household share attributes with people of color was a bit of a stretch. She meant to say that she shared a sense of not belonging to mainstream society as a white woman who was raised by a single parent and that she had an affinity for folks of color or something like that. Nonetheless, this particular section of the book reminded me of limosine liberals trying hard to prove through street cred.
There was nothing new here; however, I will suggest this book to women who are unfamiliar with the more academic area of study or other women who haven't read Breeder, Mothers Who Think, Perfect Madness, The Mommy Myth, Ariel Gore, Ayun Halliday, and too many others to list.
Richards book does give an overview of the literature and I'm sure that a reader will be encouraged to look through the list of sources and bibliography in the back. But, for me, someone who has been officially parenting for 11 years and other parenting prior to this, the book did not present any new material.
5 of 6 people found the following review helpful.
Feminist Mothers-To-Be, Rejoice!
By Annie Ryan
Richards' book shines as a beacon of hope to frazzled, overstressed mothers: having a life outside of motherhood is entirely possible! It's about priorities, balance, and knowing your limits.
Richards balances personal anecdotes with well-known feminist commentary. She cites the changes society has undergone to allow mothers and their parenting partners more flexibility in the workplace and beyond.
A must-read for mothers, mothers-to-be, fathers, partners, EVERYONE!
5 of 6 people found the following review helpful.
Eh
By Emily Baker
Richards is a good writer and I enjoyed reading her story and thoughts. But this to me was a good afternoon read from the library, nothing more. The book is a bit rambling and unstructured, and I got really impatient with it at times. She goes on for a long time about why women chose to stay at home or work, and while I agree with many of her thoughts (for example: that staying home can have at least as much to do with dissatisfaction with their own careers or lives as it is for the sake of the kids), I think it's amazing that she never brings the cost of daycare into the discussion.
I preferred "The Mommy Myth" as a history of views on motherhood and the tough choices that women have to make once they have their first child.
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